have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize