what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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