i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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