I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We just shotgunned beers for America
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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