Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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