Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
