And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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