you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
