At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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