I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
