idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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