I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
