im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Ladies don't puke and tell
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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