I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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