i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
