I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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