Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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