i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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