Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
