I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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