remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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