The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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