Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize