she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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