I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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