don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
