Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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