What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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