i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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