He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
