people are starting to question the shark bite story
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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