i just had sex bonerless
Small penises have feelings too.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
