i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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