No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Houston, we have a blender
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
