dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
