So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
