There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize