I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
