if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
