I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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