I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
