just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
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