i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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