For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
