I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
