looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
