You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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