i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My day in three words: secret purse cake
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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