Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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