Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
