I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i will never coherently bang her
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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