Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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