what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
