the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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