Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
