How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
