I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
