I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
