I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
