that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
did i walk over a car last night?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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