winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
