And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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