I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i drank out of a bidet.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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