that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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