Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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