I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
