Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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