508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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