But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
